So, as you can tell I am going to go into being LGBT and Autistic.
Now, growing up I knew I liked girls (I had a huge crush on Shakira since I was 5). But I also liked boys as well which was very confusing for me. But I kind of accepted it and shrugged it off. I was just a kid, between playing outside in the mud and watching cartoons, I didn’t have much time to think about it.
It struck me when I was 11 years old that I was bisexual. It just kind of occurred to me one day as I sat in my room watching anime (Rurouni Kenshin, since that was my favourite back then). So I was simply sat there and realised that I’m bisexual.
It wasn’t a big thing to me. We had three members of the family who were LGBT and my family supported them as much as they could, so I thought coming out would be no problem at all.
I came out to my best friend first and she kept on nagging me to tell my parents but I still wasn’t sure they would understand since I was so young at the time. So I thought I’d wait a bit.
School was hard. I didn’t talk to anyone. I combed my hair over my face so no one could see me. It was like a wall protecting me from the rest of the world. I had too many social insecurities to come out just yet.
Then I got diagnosed with Autism.
Getting diagnosed was a huge confidence destroyer. I didn’t understand. Everyone, other than my parents, treated me different. I liked it that they were trying to understand me but it made me feel as if I was back in nursery again.
I couldn’t come out yet. They wouldn’t understand. They would think I didn’t know what I wanted, not only because I was so young, but now I had autism, a label that everyone tip toes around and treats you as if you’re a child.
So I refused to come out.
I became depressed. I couldn’t show who I really was. I had to live in a glass box with a label on top of my head.
Plus my Pure O decided it would be fun to kick in for a few years.
So I hid myself away until I turned 17.
I was in college and I couldn’t cope anymore. I wanted to tell my new friends in college and my family. So I announced it to my friends in class when we were doing a project. They kept teasing me about liking this bloke who kept flirting with me, so I said I was bisexual and preferred girls.
One of my friends didn’t seem impressed, but the rest seemed happy for me. Then the boy who kept flirting with me asked me out over a text message on the way home. I politely declined but said I wanted to stay friends.
I was on a roll. If I could come out to my friends, I knew I could come out to my parents.
My dad was playing on GTA at the time and my mum was folding washing. I just said it. “I’m bisexual, are you okay with that?”
They didn’t say much, just that it’s fine.
I spent so many years worrying that people would think I didn’t know what I wanted, when really I should have just focused on what I thought about myself.
On a date, a girl once asked me if it’s morally okay to date me. That was like a kick in the teeth. I explained that it was perfectly fine, but couldn’t help but feel hurt because the fears growing up had come back.
I may be autistic but I am not a child. I know what I want in life and I don’t want people to feel like they have to tip toe around me just because I am autistic.
I wanted to write this post just to let it out because this issue has been bugging me for years. As long as you are of age and it doesn’t hurt any body and you truly know what you want, go for it. Don’t let people bring you down just because of your condition.
I type this as I lay next to the love of my life, Kylie. I couldn’t be happier and this all happened because I had the courage to come out, even though I was terrified. But it was worth it. Both me and my amazing girlfriend are now looking for a place together and one day plan to marry. I couldn’t be happier.
I may add more to this post but I am off to make some breakfast for Kylie. She isn’t feeling well, Bless her.
Anyway thanks for reading. I want to add more later.
Maybe tell me your coming out story, or what you thought people wouldn’t understand because you are autistic, or maybe you’re a family member. Please tell me if you have ever been through something like this.
I spent so many years feeling so alone, but you don’t have to. I am here if you want to talk.
Both me and my girlfriend run a Youtube channel and I am starting one on my own as well.
Our Channel: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCQWwEn3Rwgd5e0ctIWk8d3Q